yet another small amount of time online... i began talking with one of my friends and have come to the realization that i need new friends.  explanation:  i was very depressed for a long time... like years.  probably just that teenager crap that everyone goes through.  but now i'd like to think that i've matured a little.  the unhappiness comes and goes a lot less even now than before.  but while i was like that i didn't really talk with anyone.  i searched out my friends to do stuff in order to get my mind away from everything.  now though all i hear is what i went through from my friends... nonstop.  you defnintely get sick of it and it only brings me down.  so goddamn negative.  but then again that is probably why we all became such good friends in the first place.  so looking forward to college.  only a year away.

quick story... so me and my friends have nothing to do and we decide we will go hang out at the mall (yeeehaaa).  we get there and decide that walking around just isn't enough fun.. what to do.. o i know borrow a wheelchair that they give out to the handicapped.  sign the paperwork, no questions asked (i mean really who is going to say "you aren't a cripple") and we have wheelchair.  we take turns sitting in it and having various ailments (retardation, broken legs  etc)  but hitting and yelling at the retard in the wheelchair while other people are staring at us quickly becomes boring.  so my friend decides to see how fast he can get the wheelchair going while my other friend is sitting in it.  they starting racing down the hall and are going pretty fast while my friend sitting in the chair decides he is going too fast and pulles the brake... crash.... he flies right outta the wheelchair and the wheel chair lands on him.  yes that was very cool and probably a bad idea but what the hell let's do it again. so they do.  this time they decided to wait until someone was walking by and run up behind them and crash directly behind them.  yep those people where slightly stunned.  but not as stunned as we were when the mall police decides to put an end to it and come up to us and says "you boys are gonna have to stop and return your wheelchair.  we have the whole thing on tape."  so my friend says "awesome can we see it"  the mall police responds "yea down at the CPD" not realizing that is the columbus police department my friend says "cool let's do it" well fortunately we didn't see the tape and yes they did take the wheelchair away but yet they didn't blacklist my name because i  have checked it out again.. go figure.

ok so you are in highschool and you are dating a girl that you find yourself happier with than without but you realize there really isn't anything to the relationship.  Is it wrong to continue dating that person in turn hindering your personal growth probably or should you just stick with that person because you are happier with them than without them.  i mean isn't there a point when you have to go through some suffering in order to make yourself a better person and your life better. i think so.

Does anyone else begin reading other blogs and then, for example read, "... prayed for a little while.."  and just become so disgusted with the person you can't read anymore of their blog.  or for exmple read "i'm a republican G to the O P" (or something like that...).  just turned me off so much i couldn't read anymore... i'm so closeminded lol.  anyways knowing how mars is so close and all (and yes it has looked very cool) i've had a burning desire to go out in the night to some secluded area and look at it with someone special.  there are a lot of things like that.  things that are a million times better with someone special (or perhaps everything is like that..) but yet there is no one special sigh... well the game is on .. go bucks.

the question is "how to get people to read your blog?"  the simple answer... update often enough to keep it on the recently updated list... haha oo but then i might not have anything interesting to say and people will stop reading it then... nope because i spend all my time online (allowing me to update it enough) i will have plenty to talk about.. or... ok... i'll figure something out and make sure to keep you all up to date on that because i know everyone cares so much

i don't understand how the republican party can support schwartzenegg...  arnold in california.  there are multiple films of him groping women on talk shows.  he is married with kids.  isn't that sorta hypocritical of the whole party that is supposed to be morally correct.  also it's nice to see something terrible has happened in iraq almost every day.  and then on top of whatever terrible news there is from iraq the UN is removing more and more people from iraq in effect putting more and more weight on america's shoulders to solve the whole problem.  so then on the other side of the world north korea has decided to stop having talks with the US (probably having a little to do with the white house refusing to recognize them as a real country) and continue building a nuclear arsenal.  i feel safer everyday.  not only that but mr bush can't seem to handle things on the homefront either.  the economy is still terrible and gas prices are skyrocketing.  then on the other hand at least all those people that drive suv's may get a little pain right about where their wallet is.  problem is i still have to get to work and school.... hmm... god bless friends with cars.

so has anyone heard of the band "things i haven't told you" ?

I just remembered what i wanted to write about.... So i'm having an argument with a friend. it wasn't really an argument where the two people involved are mad at eachother but they have different points of views and are trying to convince the other of their point of view.  my friend and i are doing this in front of another one of our friends who always becomes very withdrawn in arguments in which anything is debated (but then has no problem arguing with his girfriend all the time cause she makes him mad).  so after about a 2 hour long debate we reach "J's" house (whom i was having the debate with and "A" says "i don't see the point of arguing, it's not like you are going to convince eachother of your point of view" so i reply with "when you debate your goal shouldn't be to change the other persons point of view but to present yours in a concise way and then learn about theirs so you can better shape your view of whatever"  i strongly believe that but then i argue a lot so am i just bullheaded or is it very healthy to debate different points of view.  i mean you can't learn everything on your own and other people can help you tremendously in your personal development. no?

post 1:  I've been thinking about starting one of these for a very long time but never got around to it.  Often when I'm in the mood to write like this I feel too distraught (?or lazy perhaps?) to actually write.  So tonight I finally decided to actually begin.  It seems unlikely that I will actually keep at this.  Anyways, on to tonights thoughts.  Besides my thoughts on starting a journal (eventually i will also post about my past) tonight I wanted to discuss football.  I play football for my highschool.  I don't actually play a position though, I kick.  At times it seems pretty bad because I do all the preseason work with the team (3 months of lifting and conditioning) and I do all the regular season work but I don't get to go out and actually play.  I just kick.  On the other hand I don't get my ass kicked all the time and have to go out and do it again (I know what it's like because i used to play other positions).  So that is a plus.  Although football season is the longest season of all highschool sports (almost six months) because the entire summer is devoted to it.  So when you spend 3 months barfing your guts out and then waking up early the nexxt morning, sore, to do it all over again you become very emotionally attached to the game.  Come friday night all those emotions are put on the field and to watch your team lose and feel totally helpless while it is happening is completely emotionally draining.  That's is probably why i'm writing here right now (as you might have noticed i'm not capitalizing my "i"s anymore, screw it).  i'm drained and it hurts... bad...  There is a lot more to why this hurts so much but i just don't know if i can put up with this for the next eight weeks.  I just don't know.  ugh... anyways though as i put this into writing it becomes a lot more obvious that football isn't everything (thank god) and life will go on (hopefully sooner rather than later).  Also just to keep those of you interested in my blog that have no affection for football.... what does everyone think of the entire iraq  "situation".  i won't go into details but i don't think we should've ever gone to war.   Bad decision by a bad president.  And on to another topic on my mind... how about life what the hell is the point of it?  personal fyi: i'm an atheist that really wants to believe there is a point to life but can't convince myself... sorta depressing to see all the pain we go through and then realize there was no point in going through it in the first place.  why not just kill ourselves?