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Tuesday, 30 March 2004

going to new york.....

posted by myblog, March 30, 2004 23:46 | link | comments (5)

Monday, 29 March 2004

two quotes i feel i have to share from the adbusters magazine " The gentler, everyday flip side is the growing army of meme warriors: artists, writers, activists, environmentalists, green entrpreneurs, pranksters, poets, philosophers, and punks, gerating cognitive dissonance, spreading startling new ideas, streaming mindbombs, giving birth to new ideologies, paradigms and ways of looking at things." -- Kalle Lasn and "a whole generation of post-consumer youth will demand greater meaning in life which might spell, if not an end, then a radical reorientation of consumer capitalism"

posted by myblog, March 29, 2004 20:48 | link | comments (4)

posted by myblog, March 29, 2004 16:52 | link | comments

oo also for anyone interested check out this site.  it is the website of a really good magazine i would suggest to anyeone http://www.adbusters.org/ and remember april 19-25 is turn off your tv week and just for future reference the day after thanksgiving is buy nothing day.

posted by myblog, March 29, 2004 16:19 | link | comments

i despise teachers that subtly and pursuade and influence students.... teachers are given a class full of sponges, most without the ability to think through things thoroughly just yet and a sole voice preachering to them... it is the teachers responsibility to present both sides.  this probably bothers me the most cause all i hear are conservative views and such but it definitely bothers me and i should hope that it would bother me if it were the other way around.  if a teacher wants to voice an opinion (even subtly) the other side should be presented.  today i had a teacher propose the question something along the lines of "do you believe that homosexuality is genetic or learned" now on the cover this may seem innocent enough but honestly this has all sorts of undercurrents and the most obvious, and gross undercurrent is the very fact that it implies homosexuality is wrong.  well wake up folks it's not and people that think it is make me sick.  i mean thinking it is a sin and everything is fine, whatever your religion preaches but accept the fact that everyone sins and we don't actively try to prevent a lot of sins. ugh.  there is one thing my mom said that has stuck with me "i'm a very tolerant person but there is one thing i am not tolerant of, intolerant people".

posted by myblog, March 29, 2004 16:12 | link | comments (1)

Saturday, 27 March 2004

i love travelling so much but there it is just so overwhelming when you think about how much there is to see in the world... and yet i'm just sitting here on the internet.... our time is pretty precious but yet we don't get a choice of how we will use it all too often... i guess we all just do what we can... sigh

posted by myblog, March 27, 2004 18:36 | link | comments

i wonder what attracts people to other people's blogs... and i've come to the decision that the blogs we find the most fascinating are about things we already have thought about and are thinking about.... rather than learning life experiences from the wise... it seems we would rather repeat our thoughts as if to confirm them or perhaps realize there are other people out there that think they same as us.... i want to be someone that wants to read things he hasn't already thought about... things that are new and i can gain something from... but that is not how it is for me i don't think, mostly anyways

posted by myblog, March 27, 2004 18:21 | link | comments

Thursday, 25 March 2004

it is a strange experience to listen to cars drive by on a wet road.... it makes a sorta rustling sound... makes you wonder what these people are trying to get away from or back to so late at night... away from the sercurity of a familiar place...  sitting in the cars... but now an even cooler sound has started... the sound of rain falling on my tin roof.... now that is a gentle sound... i don't like the sound of a car accelerating... it isn't a nice sound... it is an aggressive sound... this all makes me wonder why people like loud cars.  that is a gross sound.  why do people drive motorcycles that are geared to be loud or put mufflers on their cars to make them louder... it is not a pleasant sound.... it is a disruptive sound... a mean sound.... yea this entry is strange 

posted by myblog, March 25, 2004 22:58 | link | comments (3)

it is disgusting what our idea of "success" has become in this country.... owning your hown home is supposedly "the American dream" but i sure as hell don't want a house that i have to spend all my weekends upkeeping... or a car that i'm working on fixing whenever i'm not working on the house.... i want to ride the subway to work and experience life with other people.  i want to live somewhere that is suited to how many people are living there... i want to be able to walk places.... i want to be happy, then i will be successful.

posted by myblog, March 25, 2004 18:04 | link | comments (3)

Tuesday, 23 March 2004

i've noticed something i've started doing this last year.. and maybe a little the year before... i've begun analyzing movies and books that i read or watch... looking for the exact message the creator was trying to get across and looking for metaphors and references that relate to that and how they realate to that... subtle references ya know... it makes me kinda sick... i enjoy just experiencing a good book or just experiencing a good movie.... sigh....

posted by myblog, March 23, 2004 15:45 | link | comments (2)

Monday, 22 March 2004

i think eating dinner alone at the dinner table is one of the most lonely things anyone can do.... it is so calm and quiet and unusual... not good for people that are depressed...

posted by myblog, March 22, 2004 01:23 | link | comments (4)

Sunday, 21 March 2004

it is strange how fine a line being rude and mean is... ya know... very fine line... and the worst part is that so much of it is open to personal interpretation... it is also strange to think about things we don't realize about ourselves... cause as much as you may think you know yourself there is probably something that you have not noticed and you can't even imagine what it could be ... just the fact that you don't know what it is makes it impossible to think of it.... you just have to be very observant of yourself and come to whatever conclusions you can.... sorta makes me wonder what lessons i still have yet to learn in my life... and what occasions will spur that learning....

posted by myblog, March 21, 2004 14:53 | link | comments

Saturday, 20 March 2004

i went to my first war protest ever this morning... i guess it has been a year since we went to war in iraq today...i was impressed with how much positive feedback we got in comparison to negative feed back.... seemed like there were a lot of people that thought we were doing a good thing and only a very few that thought we were doing a bad thing.  it was mostly surprising because everyone talks about how polarized the nation is and i would expect it to sorta come out even.... it was fun... greg is a good activist to do stuff with... also last night me and greg may have set a record... we had an argument that involved one person saying "yes" and the other "no" back and forth for an hour straight... it was incredible lol...

posted by myblog, March 20, 2004 17:52 | link | comments (3)

Thursday, 18 March 2004

the greatest sporting event in the world is under way... march madness...

posted by myblog, March 18, 2004 22:34 | link | comments (3)

working is hell on earth... it is sad that it makes me angry that i can't get a job anywhere.... i've applied a billion places and no one is hiring... but what makes me especially mad about the whole thing is that this is such a big problem and i don't even really want a job.... it's just that i must have one... and soon... i donl't know how i'm going to handle working for the rest of my life.... school is one thing but actually working... sigh... the future looks real bright right now....

posted by myblog, March 18, 2004 01:14 | link | comments (4)

Wednesday, 17 March 2004

if you've ever done something for a long time with your hands... like played an instrument.... you get this feeling when you are finally comfortable with the object, it is no longer large and awkward... like it is really small in your hands and you can manipulate it anyway you want.... it seems flexible... and an extension of yourself... i'd imagine it is the same way when you are really good at dribbling a basketball... or hitting a baseball....or a number of other things that you use your hands for... it is a very cool feeling

posted by myblog, March 17, 2004 01:12 | link | comments (4)

Sunday, 14 March 2004

sometimes i wish i could be outside myself... for example... when i'm having an argument with someone i wish a part of me could just stand up and sit down next to myself and watch me argue... that part would be completely neutral and unswayed by any feelings or opinions... just observing... i'm terrible at this... when things happen that i feel strongly about i get very involved emotionally... i think you lose a lot of perspective on things when you get emotionally involved... it would be very cool to just observe everything ya know... then on the other hand you just have to live it up sometimes... ride the rollercoaster that is life rather than sitting on the side thinking about how everyone else feels.....

posted by myblog, March 14, 2004 14:48 | link | comments (5)

i took the meyer brigg's personality test awhile back and i was an ENTP, just wondering what other people have gotten?

posted by myblog, March 14, 2004 12:24 | link | comments (2)

Thursday, 11 March 2004

it's is sick what it takes to get people interested in things... what it takes to grab attention... you see sex everywhere... or violence whatever... they both seem to get people off (there ya go, that sexual reference will keep you all interested in the post for a little while longer)... it reminds me of sporting events i've been to where fans get more excited about getting free t-shirts than whatever may be happening during the game

posted by myblog, March 11, 2004 01:22 | link | comments (2)

Monday, 08 March 2004

so i just finished reading the bell jar.... it is an interesting book.... i found myself thinking during the book that i still have not convinced myself to be happy yet... i try and try to keep occupied with things and think about stuff that i think will give meaning to everything but i keep catching myself in my own lie... i keep realizing that i'm not fulfilled... so then i wonder if being fulfilled is simply not thinking about how happy you are and i just think about it too much... and what the hell does it take to give yourself purpose... and do i need purpose to feel fulfilled?  sometimes i can totally buy into my life and live it but all too often i have lapses were i "see through the bullshit" so i have a really tough time telling what is the bullshit when i don't see it all the time...  which life that i lead is reality and which one is simply a creation of my mind...

posted by myblog, March 08, 2004 23:48 | link | comments (3)

Sunday, 07 March 2004

and in the spirit of seinfeld... everyone that believes humans are so much better than cows.... you are species nazis!

posted by myblog, March 07, 2004 23:00 | link | comments (3)

this may sound crazy to a lot of people but the truth is humans are not much different or better than any other species on this planet... so many people think it is totally disgusting to eat other humans but c'mon now, if it were a life and death situation how ridiculous would it be, is it really any different than eating a cow? no... it is not.  but it is ok to kill cows by the millions but not humans... this is where i get stuck... i try using the argument that species look out for their own species but this isn't true either... lots of animals eat their young... so why don't we kill other people and why is killing other people worse than killing cows... we must kill other things in order to live but how do we decide what we kill and why do we pick those things? can't figure that out...

posted by myblog, March 07, 2004 22:49 | link | comments

Friday, 05 March 2004

life is depressing and then something like spring goes and happens... it sure is beautiful...driving with the windows down... hand out the window riding the air.... the heat of the sun on your face relaxing on the muscles in your body... shorts that just hang there lettin the cool breeze flow around your legs... robins bright red chest picking at worms in the ground with bright blue eggs that you find open on the ground... the first bright blue jay... magnolias blooming like a tree full of fireworks....

posted by myblog, March 05, 2004 00:35 | link | comments (5)

Thursday, 04 March 2004

i wanted to share this with someone tonight but there was no one appropriate so i will share it with the world

from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.
















































































posted by myblog, March 04, 2004 01:10 | link | comments (5)

i think the emotions that make our life more interesting can be pretty dull to write about cause those emotions that make our lives the most interesting i could write about everyday.... so i have to think of something more interesting....

posted by myblog, March 04, 2004 00:06 | link | comments

i couldn't help but notice that the blogs http://abdi.motime.com/ and http://miraged.motime.com/ followed eachother in the recently updated list... making the list read "my life... your illusion"  it cracked me up

posted by myblog, March 04, 2004 00:04 | link | comments

Wednesday, 03 March 2004

so oddly enough today i was reading my psych book and discovered the affliction i was discussing earlier... it's called "learned heplessness". an experiment was done with dogs and they would put one set of dogs through pain that could stop the pain and another that could not then when both dogs were put in different situations in which they could stop the pain in a different way the dogs that couldn't stop the pain earlier, would just put up with it while the other dogs avoided it.  also it has been shown in students... when they get math problems they can't do they will continue to not try on easier problems... this is all a brief summary... but i think it gives everyone the idea

posted by myblog, March 03, 2004 19:22 | link | comments (2)

i promised i would not censor myself and this is what's on my mind.... one of my friends who got screwed by my school (who i mentioned earlier) is now feeling the full punishment of the schools actions... when it happened i immediately told him he should fight it... it was his right as a student to fight it and i think it was his job since he did get royally screwed but it seemed like he immediately came off with the a victim's attitude, if you know what i mean... like "i got fucked and i can't do anything about it, this whole situation is hopeless"... he even disagreed with his parents appeal and i told him that there was going to be stuff throughout the year that he was going to want to do and that is the reason to fight it, that the whole situation is not just going to go away... but he insisted he wanted to just ignore it till it did...well it seems to me that it is finally affecting him... sorta setting in... thing is i still don't know if he wants to fight it... seems like he still has the attitude that there is nothing he can do and he should just roll with the punches... he doesn't complain much about it... i just know it bugs him.... and i think that in such a situation there is no way i would just sit back and leave it all alone...

posted by myblog, March 03, 2004 00:18 | link | comments

Monday, 01 March 2004

so i didn't get anything accomplished this weekend....hmm things just keep piling up...

posted by myblog, March 01, 2004 00:56 | link | comments